One of my more enjoyable routines is converting US Dollars
each month into Philippine Pesos.
Transferring money from the states to the Philippines
is the easiest part; it is the process of changing it over to pesos which
provides such memorable moments.
When I was living in Balamban, Cebu,
I could go to ML Huillier, a chain of pawn shops and money exchange
establishments located throughout the Philippines. I always transferred my money in US Dollars
as the exchange rate fluctuated daily in the Philippines
and thus if I waited a day or two, I might get more pesos to the dollar. The
personnel there became accustomed and even enjoyed my visits. We would banter back in forth, me in broken
Cebuano and they in broken English. I
really enjoyed stopping there as the treatment I received was the exception and
not necessarily the rule. I never had a problem with getting any amount in
dollars. However, I also didn’t realize that not all those branches carried US
Dollars, but it became quite evident the first time I tried to pick up my money
at the business in Himamylan.
When inquiring there, the lady looked at me quite
astonished. It hadn’t sunken into me
that there were very few foreigners in town.
She shook her head and said they only kept $300 on hand, but was advised
that Kabankalan could assist me. The
young woman in Kabankalan gave me the same reply, but added the main office in
town could accommodate my needs. I told
her that I would prefer doing business there.
The rather cute clerk then said they could have the desired amount in
the office in a couple of hours if I wanted to return. Then she offered to take down my celly number
and email address and contact me that way.
At first, being a simple country boy from Iowa,
I thought that was very nice of her, but then the alarms in my mostly empty
brain went off. A little over a year ago
on the island of Luzon,
a young woman grabbed my celly from me and got my number. For a month afterward
she kept sending me texts. It was only
after I refused to reply did she finally give up. So, I politely told the young woman behind
the white horizontal bars that I would just return in the afternoon.
Most times, the women had common names like Dorothy, Sheryl,
or even Linda, but then there was the day I walked into the BDO branch in
Bacolod to open a savings account. An
account representative by the name of Princess waited on me. I told her I wanted to open a savings account
and also have an ATM card so I could access the account. I provided her the requested information and
she took the form away for processing.
Next to her was a teller by the name of Yummy. I know I had to look conspicuous staring at
that name tag, but there it was “YUMMY” (pronounced U – ME). She was young, of medium height, thin build,
long brown hair, and wore glasses. Now there are those of you who have asked me
before if she was as good as her name depicted. I will write here as I answered
before, I didn’t sample the goods, but will let your imagination decide.
Princess told me I could return in a week for the ATM card.
I told her she could just mail it to me like in the states, but her eyes got
wide and she stated that ATM cards were never mailed. I then asked if she could send it to another
branch closer to where I lived. The young executive replied that I would have
to come back to get the card. However, should I need the money before the card
arrived, I could stop by any of the branches and they would let me make a
withdrawal.
On November 30 I returned to Bacolod
to get my card, but to my chagrin, I was informed by the security guard outside
the bank that it was the Bonafacio Holiday.
Being quite disappointed with my ignorance, I went and drowned my sorrows
at KFC, where Dorothy would always get flustered when I ordered my meal and
could never get my purchase straight, and then I went to watch a movie.
The next morning I biked to a branch closer to home and
withdrew 5,000 pesos only to be informed there was a 200 peso service charge
for withdrawing money at the teller window. No charge if I used the ATM mind
you, but I would have to pay if I tried to use the window services. I paid the fee, took the money and headed to Bacolod.
Of course, it had to literally rain on my parade and by the time I
got to the bank where my ATM card was being held hostage, I was dripping. All the better I thought as I left watery
footprints across the polished tile floor.
Princess waited on me again and I signed my signature lines
to get my card. The problem was I was
cold and my hands had been gripping a handlebar for over ninety minutes,
which altered my signature. Even though
princess had a picture that matched my darkened face (from the sooty exhausts
on the highway), she still went to her supervisor for advice. After a very long wait, she returned and said
I needed to sign the forms again. I explained the situation upon deaf
ears. She took my driver’s license and
papers back to her superior once more and then returned with my card. It was late afternoon as I took the ATM card
and raced back to Himamaylan (you never want to drive the highways after dark). And now you are wondering why I just didn’t
wait to get the card and withdraw money then. Well, another security measure
stated that you could not use the card until the next day and as I was out of
pesos and gas for the bike…I just didn’t feel comfortable begging for pesos in Bacolod.
Most times, exchanging money was a simple procedure. Often, I would look at the exchange rate for
several different establishments and then decide whether I needed the pesos
that badly or not. One day while waiting
in line the exchange rate went up fifty centavos per dollar. I really liked
that, but one had to remember, that was the exception and not the rule.
Some businesses had you fill out a long form while a couple
just asked for your photo ID and nothing else.
However, one day I was at a business converting dollars to pesos and the
lady (who appeared to have no personality whatsoever), checked off the boxes I
needed to complete before getting my pesos.
I was the only one at that window and she just slid it through the slot
without a smile or even looking up at me. Liver and onions had more charm than
that woman. In fact my sixth grade teacher, Miss Steinmeyer (‘ol Miss Dynamite),
had better temperament than the lady behind the glass. I took the piece of paper….heaven help us if
they had an official legal form…..and
looked it over. The clerk had marked the
boxes SHE wanted filled in and I started writing the information in purple
ink. They wanted my name, address, phone
number, place and date of birth along with my nationality. BUT this form was just a little
different. Toward the bottom was a box
she had a big check which said, “PURPOSE”. I looked at that space with a bit of
adolescence mischief, I then printed, “Sex and booze” in large letters within the box
and handed it back to the Filipina. I
guess she had the last laugh though. She
thoroughly scanned the completed sheet and without any change in her composure,
counted out the pesos and handed them to me with an indifferent “Thank you.”
You know, when I think about it, maybe I should go back to BDO and see if Yummy would treat me any
better.
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